More on Singled Out

I'm still greatly enjoying Virginia Nicholson's Singled Out.  I'm nearly finished and hope to get through the last few chapters by the end of the week.  There's so much here that I'd love to share, so I've picked out a few passages that I marked.  Sorry if they're a bit on the long side, but I couldn't help myself.  I could paraphrase what I've been reading, but as so much of it is quoted directly from the women who lived during this period--their words are far more interesting than mine would be.

Although many women lost out on the opportunity to marry, I'm not entirely sure marriage was such a wonderful choice in every instance.  An example of what one woman living most likely in near poverty had to deal with daily:

"Frances generally worked from 6.30 in the morning till 10.30 at night, on her feet.  Scrubbing, washing and fetching hot water were back-breaking tasks; life was a permanent battle with soot, bugs and coal-dust.  If you had only a distant outside toilet, there was the necessity of emptying chamber-pots; sanitary towels, too, had to be soaked and washed by hand.  Cooking, laundry, dusting and scrubbing were the tyrannical, never-ending reality of the housewife's day.  The unlucky ones also had to endure drunkenness, savagery, abuse and infidelity by their husbands."

And life for a wealthier woman wasn't much better, though I think I would opt for her condition over being poor any day.

"Working class wives were not the only ones condemned to cramped and narrow horizons.  Though not burdened with poverty, middle-class and upper-class wives were, like their poorer sisters, expected to confine their activities to the domestic sphere.  Nobody ever thought to ask a married woman what she did, since everybody knew: her fate was to endure a life of endless and pointless leisure.  'If the fire required poking, one rang for a maid to fulfill this duty.  No lady made any effort', remembered one young lady who had grown up in Edwardian England.  Flowers had to be arranged, of course, the canary fed, and calls paid.  Embroidery must be done and bridge played.  Daughters might also have to be taken to dancing classes, and books changed at libraries, but generally speaking drawing-room life was far from arduous."

In either case life during this era sounds pretty oppressive for a woman.  And do you want to know how men perceived women as possible mates?  The illustrious Charles Darwin's list of pros and cons when considering marriage to Emma Wedgwood:

"Children- (if it Please God) - Constant
companion, (& friend in old age) who
will feel interested in one, - object to be
beloved and played with. - better than a
dog anyhow. - Home, & someone to
take care of house - Charms of music
& female chit-chat. - These things
good for one's health. - but terrible
loss of time...
Only picture to yourself a nice soft
wife on a sofa with good fire, & books
& music perhaps - Compare this vision
with the dingy reality of Grt. Marlboro'
St.
Marry-Marry-Marry Q.E.D."

Oh, how cheering to think that I, as a woman would be a step above the dog to be 'played with'.  Ugh.  It sounds as though he needs a maid.  Although the war was horrific, it actually helped pave the way towards independence for many women.  Although probably not the norm, many women were able to study and work in fields that were not normally open to them. Of course working outside the home wasn't always easy either for the single woman.

"Marjorie Gardiner worked a mere sixty-hour week at a smart Brighton milliner's from 1925 to 1945.  The merchandise ranged from five-shilling felts to ostentatious confections trimmed with mink, ermine tails and birds of paradise.  But there was no luxury for the girls who worked there.  Rules were strict, and they suffered.  In theory they worked ten- or twelve-hour days, but often it was more.  The temperature inside the shop was kept pitilessly low, the door being left open for customers all day long summer and winter.  Marjorie and all the other girls had terrible chilblains.  Warming one's perishing fingers on the one tiny radiator was not permitted, and at lunchtime the girls took it in turns to use the kitchen gas stove: 'Hygiene or no hygiene - we often used to put our feet in the oven to unfreeze them!'  There were no tea or coffee breaks.  Nine times out of ten, if you nipped out to the back to grab a warming cup of tea in the kitchen, a customer would demand attention and it would have to be abandoned.  'Madam', who ran the shop, and arrived in a chauffeur-driven car, was a dragon who often dismissed girls on scanty pretexts when they displeased her,  'No wonder they sometimes ended up in the streets'."

Although women could or in many cases had to work outside the home, once the men returned, their choices were again limited--teaching and nursing still being the professions most open to women.  These were also professions that it was generally assumed that if the woman decided to marry, she would give up her work.  In some cases women made the choice of profession over marriage.  In other cases they had no choice but to work, and it sounds like it was a lonely existence quite often, and single women or spinsters had to deal with poor wages and a fair amount of prejudice.  Thankfully the times have changed.      

Comments

[Dorothy W.]

Oh, yes, this makes me appreciate my life today. I have so many luxuries and opportunities that I so often take for granted.

[Danielle]

It's certainly interesting reading, and it makes me more appreciative of living when I do as well! I guess you don't miss what you don't have, but how these women were treated was at times deplorable.

[Eva]

But, what's wrong with being better than a lap dog? At least he had the good sense to acknowledge that we come house-broken. ;)

Yep, makes me all the happier than I live in the twenty-first century and in the West.

[litlove]

I MUST get hold of this book! It sounds soooooo good!

[yolanda]

I so enjoy looking at your blook lists . Thanks so much for sharing them.

[Isabel]

It sounds enlightening.

So maybe that's why some women rebelled and become hard-core flappers in the 1920s?

[Nicola]

This is just absolutely fascinating! My grandmother would have been one of these women. She lived in England and did end up getting married in the early '30s but she had obtained the ripe old age of 30, which was considered quite old for marriage.

[Simon Thomas]

I have this on my "definitely will read" pile, but have yet to buy it. And now I've given up buying books for Lent...

[Danielle]

Eva--What a thought--better than a dog. Ack. Who knows, though, maybe they were happily married for a very long time. I'm happier living now rather than then as well.
Litlove--I think you would really enjoy it. I'll be watching for the paper edition of it as it's one I'd like to keep.
Yolanda--I'm partial to lists as well. Glad you like them!
Isabel--I think with the war came greater freedom for women and they certainly took advantage of it. I'm curious to read about what it was like for American women, too.
Nicola--It is really fascinating reading about these women. Is your grandmother alive still? It would be interesting to her what her life was like! And thirty was quite old--her family must have wondered if she would end up an old maid!
Simon--This has definitely been an interesting read--I know this era is of interest to you in terms of literature and she draws on many literary sources. I'd recommend it to anyone though! No books for Lent--now that's determination. Of course just think how satisfying it will be to go book shopping after 40 days of nothing new!