Sometimes you don't realize how much you have been enjoying a book until you turn the last page and there is no more story left. And the thought of not being able to pick it up and continue on leaves you a little bereft. As I was reading Russell Hoban's Turtle Diary I was thinking what an odd sort of story it is, which is not a criticism only an observation. It was quietly enjoyable (even 'oddly' enjoyable) as I was going, but now looking back on it I find that it has really resonated with me.
Towards the end of the story one character asks another "how he stays cheerful?" and he replies, "I don't mind being alive." Taken out of context it sounds as though this is a dark and broody story, and while there is a definite thread of melancholy that runs through it, whatever dissatisfaction or feelings of loneliness that are so often a struggle in life are, if not entirely set to rights, are certainly alleviated. Quirky as it was, this is a story with a bright and quite satisfying ending.
Two middle-aged (read that as forty-something) Londoners meet by chance at the zoo. They watch the turtles in the aquarium, each secretly wishing they could set them free. Neaera is a successful writer of children's books whose inspiration has left her. Her publisher is waiting for a new Gillian Vole story, but she's decided she's not got another "furry-animal picnic or birthday party" in her. No more meek and cuddly creatures. Instead she has adopted a meat-eating water beetle hoping to create new adventures of Madame Beetle. But it isn't coming. No inspiration and only blank pages.
William, a bookstore clerk, is divorced and estranged from his children and living in a bedsit that requires the sharing of such amenities as kitchen and bath. Depending on which fellow boarder he follows he must daily contend with a dirty cooker and filthy bath which cause him no end of frustrations. An octopus-filled dream sends him in search of a real one at the aquarium. He doesn't find it, but sees the turtles instead.
There's something about seeing these huge, ancient creatures forever swimming but never arriving that niggles each. In another life the turtles would swim hundreds and hundreds of miles--their navigational abilities keeping them on the right track, now wasted in so small a tank. Sympathetic viewers are Neaera and William whose paths cross and recross, first at the aquarium and then later in William's bookstore where he spots her looking over a book in the natural science section.
"Damn you, I thought, surprised at the violence of my feelings. Damn her for what? I might as well damn myself as well, for not being young, for being middle-aged and nowhere and unhappy, for having turtle fantasies instead of living life."
And a plan is hatched to free the turtles (and in so doing perhaps free themselves, too). With the help of the turtle keeper at the zoo William and Neaera decide to crate up the three turtles, drive them down to Polperro where they will launch them into the ocean, back into their own world. And they do it. They launch the turtles, but they don't launch themselves. And this is all really more about them anyway. They just don't realize it at the time.
"On reflection I (Neaera thinks to herself) I don't want to understand it better. It may be silly and wrong and useless, it may be anything at all but it seems to be a think that I have to do before I can do whatever comes after it. That it seems to involve other people is inevitable, everything does in one way or another."
For me this is a story that is about learning the difference between happiness and contentment. Happiness is such an ephemeral state of being. It comes and goes. It might lift you to such heights you have never known, but just as easily happiness might wane and you are then plunged into great depths of despair. But it's possible to know contentment even with dealing with so many other emotions that throw a nice sense of equilibrium off. Contentment is more steadfast. You might not always be necessarily happy, but there is a peacefulness and serenity (something I am striving for in my own life), if you're lucky.
The truths (or lessons?) in this book creep up on you without your even realizing it is happening. And that is the quiet beauty of this story.
"The turtles would be well on their way now, following whatever track they followed. Just doing it. Not thinking about it, just doing it."
Words of wisdom I think. And there are many words of wisdom. This is such a wonderful story. Quiet and steadfast in its way, like pulling up a lid and looking inside. I can sympathize so well with both Neaera and William, who lead quiet lives that at the beginning of the story are filled with restlessness and maybe even verging on despair. How many of us, and how many in this story lead quiet lives of despair. We go on with the daily business of being looking for happiness. Some of us slipping away so quietly and meekly. When all along it doesn't necessarily take some life altering event to find contentment. Sometimes it's just a matter of looking inward to find the solutions.
Turtle Diary was published in 1975. Hoban was born in the U.S. and collaborated with his sister to create the series of stories for a juvenile audience featuring Frances the badger which I read as a child and are delightful. He moved to London in 1968 with his second wife where he lived until his death in 2011.
Turtle Diary is truly a hidden gem and was a real treat to read. It's beautifully written and quite funny in a wry way. It's charm lies in the understated way Hoban presents the story and the deeper meanings therein.
Stefanie at So Many Books just wrote about it as well. You can read her thoughts about it here. I've just started In Love by Alfred Hayes as well as Paul Hazard's The Crisis of the European Mind 1680-1715. The former should be a relatively quick read, but don't be surprised to see me reading the latter for the better part of the rest of 2013!